The start of a new year inspires us to reflect on all that happened in the previous 12 months and set our intentions for what we truly want to create in the year ahead. But it is difficult to stick with and good to know that we are not alone in our defeat. In fact, Time Magazine says 92% of typical New Year’s resolutions (as below) fail!

• Lose weight and get fit
•  Quit smoking
•  Learn something new
•  Eat healthier and diet
•  Get out of debt and save money
•  Spend more time with family
•  Travel to new places
•  Be less stressed
•  Volunteer
•  Drink less

Why is that?

Probably because our ideas of what we want are vague and we don’t give ourselves adequate support and encouragement in developing new habits. So much of our behavior is unconsciously driven, so we find ourselves engaged in the old negative habitual patterns often without even understanding how we got there.

How can we re-vitalise our hopes and set ourselves up for success

By becoming more conscious and aware – that really is what Mindfulness is all about.

And even now on Jan 21st, you can start by allowing yourself a little time to consider and explore what it is you want in as much detail as possible – why do I want this? What will it give me? How will it change things? What’s stopping me? What might help me? Have I ever succeeded with something like this before? What did I learn? What advice would someone who really cares about me give?

Maybe write it down? This exploration gives you insight into some of the challenges you might face, helps you identify the skills / supports you already possess as well as those you might need to gain. And it encourages you to stay motivated and enthusiastic when the going gets tough.

How does Mindfulness Help?

Research has shown that Mindfulness helps people become more self aware and manage their emotions better.  Learning to respond skillfully rather than react unconsciously in each moment triggers freedom from ‘powerlessness’ or ‘unwanted patterns’ and the ability to choose. Realising the thoughts that ‘pop’ into your head, like ‘there’s no point in doing this’ or ‘it’s not going to work’ are not true or facts. It’s not just you either! This mind that ‘has a mind of its own and often works against you’ happens to everyone. Mindfulness lets us see that. These pessimistic, hopeless thought patterns can only sabotage and undermine your efforts when you believe them.

So don’t, if you can move your attention to your breath and calm yourself in that difficult moment, you are remaining stable even while the storm rages and each time you do that and you remain steadfast to what you truly and deeply want – you are creating a new habit, or re-wiring your brain…

And of course there is so much more…

Remember, your hopes and dreams will remain just that unless you nurture them and give yourself the help you need? You can do it!

Maybe it is a Mindfulness Course? You can read more about upcoming Mindfulness Courses here…

 “I found this course liberating. I can say that I am more in touch with myself and have stopped, woken up from a coma! Many thanks for making a difference to my life. It’s much appreciated!”     Feedbck from participant 2013

This blog was written by Joanne O’Malley, Mindfulness and Compassion. We offer: a range of Mindfulness / Compassion Courses, Customised Workplace Programmes and 1 : 1 Mindfulness Training

For more information

Please don’t hesitate to contact Joanne if you have any query?

That’s really why Mindfulness or ‘presence of heart’ matters…

Here is an 8 minute practice to encourage you to savour the moments...here

Have a look at this wonderful clip to feel what I am trying to convey…

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

When we are present and mindful, we get out of our heads and into our hearts. We experience life more deeply and begin to see that the small things aren’t small after all. Whether it is the sound of the sea or our child’s laughter, the smell of cinnamon, cloves and delicious food, the feel of a cuddle or a bracing breeze…we notice and savour the sublime in the most ordinary moments of each day …. the moments that will make up our Christmas 2014 and our life.

May I wish you all peace and happiness and love this Christmas…

Thich Nhat Hanh says:
“If your house is on fire, the most urgent thing to do is to go back and try to put out the fire, not to run after the person you believe to be the arsonist…. so when you are angry if you continue to interact or argue with the other person, if you try to punish her, you are acting exactly like someone who runs after the arsonist while everything goes up in flames.”

Whatever the difficult feeling you may be dealing with, what would it be like to acknowledge it and turn to yourself with compassion and kindness just because it is hard?

Self Compassion helps…

Most of us feel compassion when someone we care about is struggling but we can be very harsh and judgemental with ourselves which only makes a difficult situation worse. Self compassion is an act of courage that stands up to harm, including the hurt that we inflict on ourselves through self-criticism / isolation / rumination when we are ‘not getting it right’ and it helps us to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves down (or forgive ourselves, admit our mistakes) and move on.

Here is an 8 minute self compassion break that you can do at those difficult moments, here

And a poem from John O’Donohue to gladen your heart and hold you in a warm embrace…

Beannacht – “A New Year Blessing” by John O’Donohue

On the day when
The weight deadens
On your shoulders
And you stumble,
May the clay dance
To balance you.

And when your eyes
Freeze behind
The grey window
And the ghost of loss
Gets into you,
May a flock of colours,
Indigo, red, green
And azure blue,
Come to awaken in you
A meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
In the currach of thought
And a stain of ocean
Blackens beneath you,
May there come across the waters
A path of yellow moonlight
To bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
May the clarity of light be yours,
May the fluency of the ocean be yours,
May the protection of the ancestors be yours.

And so may a slow
Wind work these words
Of love around you,
An invisible cloak
To mind your life.

And, they don’t have to be ‘real’. Our buttons can get pressed by things we imagine. Our bodies don’t discern a difference.  We interpret events not as they are but as we are; and many of us are grouchy and under pressure now so we may imagine we have been ‘snubbed’ for instance and build a big story around something entirely fictitious, “how could she treat me like this?”

Mindfulness  -  awake – alive – amazed

Luckily, the practice of Mindfulness helps us wake up and opens our ability to be with our moment by moment experience and appreciate it fully just as it is. We start to see more deeply, beneath the surface of first impressions, then we can respond more skillfully and appreciate more fully. We discover that superficial appearances are often misleading as Mark Nepo describes so beautifully in his poem below.

So, next time you notice yourself rushing from one activity to the next, doing lots of things without fully engaging – slow down. Just be where you are and allow yourself to BE where and AS you are. Breath, give yourself space so you don’t jump to conclusions or react mindlessly and go on to regret rash behaviours. You will be glad and probably discover how much there is to appreciate…

Here is an 11 minute appreciation practice, inspired by Thich Nhat Hanh, here

Awakening Rights by Mark Nepo

 

“We waste so much energy trying to cover up who we are

 

when beneath every attitude is the want to be loved,

 

and beneath every anger is a wound to be healed

 

and beneath every sadness is the fear that there will not be enough time.

Our challenge each day is not to get dressed to face the world

but to unglove ourselves so that the doorknob feels cold

 

and the car handle feels wet

 

and the kiss goodbye feels like the lips of another being,

 

soft and unrepeatable.”

Until tomorrow… go gently…

This blog was written by Joanne O’Malley, Mindfulness and Compassion. We offer: a range of Mindfulness / Compassion Courses, Customised Workplace Programmes and 1 : 1 Mindfulness Training

For more information

Please don’t hesitate to contact Joanne if you have any query?

Maybe, it is also because we knew difficulty and had limited resources and the gift in that experience was an opening up to deep compassion for poor or homeless people or anyone struggling (a knowing deep inside – there but for the grace of God go I).

It turns out my Mom was right!

Research now shows not just a correlation but a causal relationship between generosity and happiness. Giving your time and money away creates neurochemical changes in your brain that make you happier.

And that’s not all, The Paradox of Generosity shows that generosity is a circular flow so, like a boomerang whatever you give out comes back to you!!!

Why are we not more generous if it makes so much sense?

That little voice in the head – fear – tells us that we don’t have enough and if we give something away we will have less.

The truth is the opposite…

Here is an 11 minute loving kindness practice to help us open our hearts and feel the joy in extending ourselves and live from a larger awareness of being here

This blog was written by Joanne O’Malley, Mindfulness and Compassion. We offer: a range of Mindfulness / Compassion Courses, Customised Workplace Programmes and 1 : 1 Mindfulness Training

For more information

Please don’t hesitate to contact Joanne if you have any query?

 In silence, we often say, we can hear ourselves think; but what is truer to say is that in silence we can hear ourselves not think, and so sink below our selves into a place far deeper than mere thought allows. In silence, we might better say, we can hear someone else think.

Or simply breathe. For silence is responsiveness, and in silence we can listen to something behind the clamor of the world. “A man who loves God, necessarily loves silence,” wrote Thomas Merton, who was, as a Trappist, a connoisseur, a caretaker of silences. It is no coincidence that places of worship are places of silence: if idleness is the devil’s playground, silence may be the angels’.

So it is that we might almost say silence is the tribute we pay to holiness; we slip off words when we enter a sacred space, just as we slip off shoes. A “moment of silence” is the highest honor we can pay someone; it is the point at which the mind stops and something else takes over (words run out when feelings rush in). A “vow of silence” is for holy men the highest devotional act. We hold our breath, we hold our words; we suspend our chattering selves and let ourselves “fall silent,” and fall into the highest place of all.

 In silence, suddenly, it seems as if all the windows of the world are thrown open and everything is as clear as on a morning after rain. Silence, ideally, hums. It charges the air.

…Silence, then, could be said to be the ultimate province of trust: it is the place where we trust ourselves to be alone; where we trust others to understand the things we do not say; where we trust a higher harmony to assert itself. We all know how treacherous are words, and how often we use them to paper over embarrassment, or emptiness, or fear of the larger spaces that silence brings. “Words, words, words” commit us to positions we do not really hold, the imperatives of chatter; words are what we use for lies, false promises and gossip. We babble with strangers; with intimates we can be silent. We “make conversation” when we are at a loss; we unmake it when we are alone, or with those so close to us that we can afford to be alone with them.

In love, we are speechless; in awe, we say, words fail us.

Extract from Pico Iyer The Eloquent Sounds of Silence from TIME magazine.

Here is a 7 minute silent practice for you to enjoy here

Looking forward to sharing more with you tomorrow…

We relax muscles and other tissues in the body and sleep better.  We open the joints and detoxify cells.

But, often this time of year, we are so busy rushing around that we forget to allow some space for something that is so good for our state of mind and heart and of course our body too. So, glab a few minutes today…

Mindful Movement – be in your body – fully aware

And remember to do it mindfully and really benefit. That means being aware – so moving your attention out of thinking and into your body, attentive of physical sensation, mind states and your whole experience moment by moment.

It does not have to be complicated. You can:

• Go for a walk inside or out – it is beautiful in nature now
• Put on some music and dance
• Cycle to the shops
• Go for a swim – (in the 40′ if you really want to wake up!)
• Play a game of tennis or golf or football or rounders
• Join me in this 7 minute movement practice and just shake – one of the most powerful Qigong techniques and so easy…here

Still feel you don’t have time – well, research has shown that people who take time for exercise are more productive and have more energy so it’s a no brainer!

This blog was written by Joanne O’Malley, Mindfulness and Compassion. We offer: a range of Mindfulness / Compassion Courses, Customised Workplace Programmes and 1 : 1 Mindfulness Training

For more information

Please don’t hesitate to contact Joanne if you have any query?

Even more, they notice how much of their behaviour is consciously and unconsciously driven by uninvited thoughts  – Do the shopping, wash the oven, don’t forget to collect the cleaning, write a list… on and on… Our thoughts have the potential to drive us quite crazy ESPECIALLY AT CHRISTMAS TIME, when they are telling us “there is so much that HAS to be done”  … and they often do…

Awareness or Mindfulness enables us to get some perspective

We wake up from the dream in our mind to our lives.  Just by moving attention from the thinking mind to the felt sense of the:

• Breath
• Body
• Sense perceptions – looking, listening, feeling, tasting, smelling.

We free ourselves from the tyranny of habitual, automatic, unhelpful thinking patterns that often lead us to stress and bad form.

Here is an 8 minute practice to help you move attention from thinking to sensing which you can do anytime, anywhere  here

This blog was written by Joanne O’Malley, Mindfulness and Compassion. We offer: a range of Mindfulness / Compassion Courses, Customised Workplace Programmes and 1 : 1 Mindfulness Training

For more information

Please don’t hesitate to contact Joanne if you have any query?

“if you want others to be happy, practice compassion, if you want to be happy, practice compassion” - Dalai Lama

We know this deeply.

Most of us are familiar with feeling compassion when a close friend is struggling but we may treat ourselves harshly especially when we have difficult feelings (inadequacy, anxiety, grief). Yet…

Compassion is ‘we’ focused, not ‘you’ or ‘me’

“For someone to develop genuine compassion towards others, first he or she must have a basis upon which to cultivate compassion, and that basis is the ability to connect to one’s own feelings and to care for one’s own welfare… Caring for others requires caring for oneself.”- Dalai Lama

What would it be like to respond to yourself with kindness and understanding rather than criticism and isolation when you’re struggling? Click here for more on self compassion

After all, everyone feels pain, has difficulties, makes mistakes, fails. It is what connects all human beings

That’s why loving kindness practice begins with oneself.

Here is a 10 minute Loving Kindness & Compassion practice Here

May you be happy, healthy… feel warmth and love… be protected from harm and free from fear… may you enjoy ease and inner peace.

I look forward to sharing with you tomorrow…

This blog was written by Joanne O’Malley, Mindfulness and Compassion. We offer: a range of Mindfulness / Compassion Courses, Customised Workplace Programmes and 1 : 1 Mindfulness Training

For more information

Please don’t hesitate to contact Joanne if you have any query?

Our tendency is to resist difficulty – we wish that our moment to moment experience be other than it is. For example we worry, ruminate, tense up, drink or eat too much or use other avoidance tactics – but when we fight against the pain, it usually makes things worse.

So, letting go of resistance is the heart of mindfulness and compassion practice. The more aware we are of the thoughts, feelings and body sensations evoked by events, the better able we are to be less reactive and respond skillfully.

Turning towards calm

We acknowledge our experience as it is and use being present in our body as a way to awareness. Just patiently feeling what is there.

• Name it / tame it – labeling difficult emotions can help us disentangle
• Feel it / heal it – locating in the body tenderly and warmly can help shift

Our emotions and thoughts are high up in our bodies so, bringing our attention down and belly breathing can stabilise the body which brings about the stability of the mind and heart.

Here is a short 10 minute practice to help you get steady here

And look forward to seeing you tomorrow when we will practice some kindness to help even more…

This blog was written by Joanne O’Malley, Mindfulness and Compassion. We offer: a range of Mindfulness / Compassion Courses, Customised Workplace Programmes and 1 : 1 Mindfulness Training

For more information

Please don’t hesitate to contact Joanne if you have any query?